Chapter 4

• Chapter Four
• “Scoot over.”
• Obediently Maria moved to the passenger side and carrying her son on her lap as her mother slide into the driver seat. Michael wiped her tears away with his tiny fingers and smiled at her. He was the strong one now. Whenever Maria felt too weak, he always stepped up. Her five year old was her rock.
• Edna started the car and drove off. She gently touched Maria’s cheek before she turned Michael’s head to face her, “Tell your grandma a joke.”
• Michael’s smile widened, already distracted by Edna, “Okay. Why did the chicken cross the road?”
• “It’s a traffic police chicken.” Edna answered with a smile.
• “No.” Michael laughed. He let his lock on Maria’s neck go but kept one tiny hand spread on the side of her neck.
• Maria reclined her seat, leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about Ricky, she wanted to keep her mind blank and try to forget the scare they just had.
• “Honey what other reason could there be?” Edna asked.
• They’ve all heard this joke before, but there was no reason to steal the boy’s thunder. Besides it was distracting him and that suited Maria just fine.
• “It crossed the road to get to KFC.” Michael answered. Maria opened her eyes and looked at her son. She had never heard this version of the joke before.
• “Why?” Edna asked as she pulled into Jane’s driveway.
• “Because KFC was giving life insurance.” he answered with a beaming smile. Maria and Edna both laughed.
• “I have another one.” Michael bounced up and down on Maria’s lap.
• “Go for it.” Maria whispered her eyes glued to her son’s beaming face. She wished she was like him, capable of blocking out all the bad stuff moments after it happens. But was he blocking it out or bottling it up?
• “How many doctors do you need to change a light bulb?”
• “Two.” Edna answered him.
• “None if it doesn’t have health insurance!”
• They all laughed. Maria hadn’t heard that one before either.
• “Do you get these jokes from kindergarten or Sunday school?” she asked him still laughing. She tried to remove his hand from her neck, but his hand clenched closed on her flesh. She looked at him worriedly. Was he pretending to be fine just for her benefit?
• The laughter died when Jane stepped out of her house, with her baby in her arms. The reality of why they were here in the first place weighed heavily on Maria. She got teary again, but she held back crying until Michael was out of the car. Edna got out behind him, took Jane’s baby and walked into the house with Michael in tow. Jane ran to the car and helped Maria out. She held her in a bear hug as Maria cried her heart out again. She felt the familiar itch that always came when she was touched, but she didn’t pull away. She wanted to be held, to be comforted and protected from her life. It was an hour before Maria felt cried out. She sank to the ground, her back against her Vitz, her head in her hands.
• “What did he do to you?” Jane asked bitterly.
• “Michael woke me up crying... mama was barricading the door...” she stopped. A fresh trickle of tears ran down her cheeks. The thought of Ricky succeeding on catching up with them made her shiver with fear, “I can’t... I can’t take this anymore Jane, I just can’t!”
• Maria let Jane pull her up, “You won’t have to. You are all leaving tonight.” she declared leading Maria into the house and bolted her door shut.
• ***
• Maria stood anxiously at the window keeping a look out for Ricky. She knew he had already been to JJ’s, and he was now out in the town searching for her. She felt a little comfort that he wouldn’t dare go to Jane’s house. He was too much of a coward to face Tom. Jane had asked him to stay home that day just in case Ricky’s alcoholic ego convinced him to stop by. Maria felt embarrassed about it, but Tom was too willing to do it. He had waited a long time to give Ricky a taste of his own medicine and he wasn’t going to miss his chance in delivering it.
• Maria picked up Jane and Tom’s wedding photo from the table and stared at it with longing. They looked happy and so much in love with each other, like they were halves of each other that needed to be together to live a full content life. She envied them, not in a way that would birth resentment, but in an empty wishful way. How she wished she had something like that, someone to love her unconditionally with respect and trust. Someone, whose hands would give her pleasure and comfort and not unimaginable pain. Someone who would make love to her with passion and not abuse her with sadistic enthusiasm like Ricky did. How she wished she felt the same excitement Jane did when she went home every day to her husband and not the dread and fear she felt when she went home to Ricky.
• How she wished she was someone else.
• “Maria lets go.” Jane walked to the door and held it ajar. Maria looked at her, wringing her fingers, too scared to put a foot out and have Ricky attack her. “Don’t worry Tom is keeping him busy in town.” A grin crept over her face.
• Maria smiled back, understanding what Jane meant. She just hoped Tom would break as many if not more of his bones as he did hers. But not even that made her feel secure enough to leave her haven. She could feel her nerves take control as a little voice in her head told her to lock and fortify the door and not to be stupid enough to put a foot out that door.
• Jane gave her a gentle smile, “Maria, we’ll be in and out in five minutes, I promise.”
• Maria nodded and pulled her lips in a tight smile. She didn’t want to come across as a coward, but that’s what she was, a complete yellow belly. She fisted her hands at her sides and took a few deep breaths just to rush some life into her frozen legs.
• “Let’s go.” She walked out and went to Jane’s car. She wanted to get as much of their stuff as she possibly could before Ricky came back. She had some money saved up, but it wouldn’t last them long. The first thing she’d have to do when they got to their new home was gotten a job. She laughed at herself quietly. She was already planning a future when she wasn’t even sure if they would be able to leave her house, let alone the town, alive.