Chapter 3

• Maria Eduarda
• For two years I have not known what it is to have peace. And here I am, looking at myself in the mirror of my bathroom, trying to forget my worst nightmare. Since that night I don't celebrate my birthday anymore. I have no reason to celebrate. How I wish I had died! Is it wrong that I still have these kinds of thoughts? Is it wrong that I still feel dirty? There are so many contradictory feelings I've been having!
• In the beginning, I couldn't sleep because of the events. I was sedated and was also restrained in the hospital bed. The pain I feel in my soul is so great, that I ended up taking the IV out of the vein that was hydrating me and hurting myself even more, I only see the blood coming out again, and smile between the tears that were already flowing.
• For me it was so good, because death would come and take me away from my suffering. Of one thing I was sure: I wouldn't know how to live with it. Only I didn't count on the nurses coming in so fast and screaming. And I black out again.
• And here I am again standing in the same place, where I tried to kill myself the first time. And again it didn't work. My sister was told that I had tried again to kill myself. Now she looks at me shocked.
• - What did you do, Duda? - she asks me, with tears in her eyes.
• - You don't understand! - I whisper.
• - Then make me understand! - she says seriously. I try to move, but I can't. Seeing what I was doing, she says: - They had to tie you up.
• - I could tell," I grumble.
• - So, will you or won't you make me understand what is happening to you?
• - How long have I been here?
• - Almost two days. Do you remember that night?
• - Yes ... - I whisper.
• - So it's true? - she asks me, and I feel my blood completely drain from my face.
• - Yes," I whisper again, ashamed of myself.
• - Duda, don't you want to know what happened to you?
• - Honestly, I don't think you need to remind me of exactly what happened to me! - Without meaning to, I'm rude, and soon I'm apologizing: - Forgive me, I didn't mean to be rude.
• - I know you didn't! You don't know how I felt when I saw you on the bathroom floor all bloody.
• My beautiful sister... She had no idea how much I admired her, she raised me since I was a little girl, our difference is ten years.
• - Forgive me! - I ask again, and she hugs me, putting her head in my lap. She begins to cry. Very much.
• - I thought you were dead! - she whispers.
• - That's what I wanted at that moment," I confess, feeling her tears on my stomach.
• - No, I don't want you to try against your life anymore! - she says angrily, and gets up. Then I could see how downcast she was.
• - I have to die! - she looks at me shocked.
• - Don't ever say such shit again!
• - Do you think it's easy?
• - I can imagine that it must not be easy!
• - No, you don't! - I practically scream, and try to control myself: "On my birthday I was raped!
• - Duda, stay calm," she says, seeing how agitated she was.
• - I can't stay calm! - I look at her firmly. - Besides having been raped, I could be pregnant and even run the risk of having caught an STD.
• - They did the pregnancy test and the STD test.
• - And what was the result? - I ask, afraid.
• - The result shows that you, Miss Sanches, are not pregnant and have not contracted the virus either," I hear a man's voice and wonder who it is. I don't need much, by the looks of my sister, who has turned very red.
• - Hi, Doctor Leo," my sister says, still blushing.
• He gives us a smile that I find sexy and greets us.
• - So I'm not pregnant?
• - No, Miss! But that doesn't mean that you don't have to take the morning-after pill, much less the cocktail, because you'll be taking it as a preventive.
• - But didn't you say that I'm not pregnant and I haven't contracted an STD? Why do I have to take it? - I question, already getting nervous.
• - Miss, as I was saying, you have to take it, and we are going to do more tests. You will also be accompanied by a psychologist.
• - I don't need a psychologist," I answer, thickly, and my sister looks at me.
• - Yes, she will, Dr. Leo!
• - Good, the nurse will bring the medication, and we'll do more tests soon.
• - I'm fine! - I grumble.
• - You've been through a major trauma, and I know you're shaken, but you need to do more tests and also start taking medication, okay? - I nod my head in agreement. Before long, he leaves, and a nurse comes in, and I am taken off restriction. This is how I began my long journey to forget my nightmare.
• - Dudaaaaaa! - I hear my sister call me and I am taken out of the past. I soon come downstairs and see her all dressed up.
• - Where are you going? - I ask, curious.
• - I'm going to work, did you forget? - she jokes. - And you have to go to class, and don't forget to come home soon.
• She gives me a kiss and runs off like crazy. My sister both loves and hates her job as Mr. Leon Vitorino's secretary. Honestly, I