Chapter 6 I Bid My Adieu

• "I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS."
• That is it.
• That is it. Finally, my world shattered into a million, no zillion, pieces.
• I do not know how to react or what to say. My mind and body have stopped processing. My entire system has shut down.
• Nancy held my hand and did something; maybe she made me sit somewhere.
• I do not know how much time has gone by, and I am still sitting here.
• Again, I felt some movement around, but I do not know what was happening. It feels like I am frozen.
• I could hear some mummers, but nothing was clear, and my vision was blurry. Why can't I hear or see anything? I guess I need a doctor.
• I felt a shake in my body. First, it was slow, and then it was too strong, like someone wanted to hurt me. I was looking here and there to see where I was, and I was at the cemetery.
• I saw a coffin in front of me and saw my grandmother in it.
• Why is Granny sleeping here?
• And finally, my mind started processing,
• She is bidding me her last goodbye.
• She is no longer with me.
• She is leaving me forever.
• I officially became an orphan.
• I went towards her and opened the bag, took out the gift I got for her, and kept it near her.
• I felt some snowflakes on her hand and looked up.
• It is snowing.
• I touched her icy hand for the last time.
• "Merry Christmas, Granny, See, white Christmas as you like," I said with a smile on my face. I know how she used to get happy, like a kid seeing a white Christmas.
• "I shall see you on another side, hopefully. Since then, rest in peace and say hi to Grandpa and Mama." Leaving her hand, I let her go.
• It was late in the evening, and I was standing at the same place, looking at the whole cremation process. Everyone started going. I felt a hug. It was Nancy.
• She said something, but I do not know what. She opened my hand, put something on it, closed it again, and left.
• I look around and find only myself and my grandmother.
• I sat on my knee and said, "So finally, you also left and made me officially an orphan, huh?"
• "You were the only family I had, and now God has to snatch that too." After saying this, I started laughing like a maniac.
• "Granny, can you do me a favor?" Can you ask God what sin I have committed to get this life?
• Why does happiness never knock on my door?
• You are the only one I had, and that is also gone.
• Granny, I also want to come to you. I do not want to live here alone." I look at her tomb.
• "I never tell anyone, but I get scared alone, Granny. Please do not leave me alone like this, granny, please." Finally, tears started flowing from my eyes. I weep in pain. The pain was so great, as if thousands of needles were pricking in my heart.
• First Mama left, then Grandpa now you.
• Am I that bad?
• Why did no one want to be with me?
• Why does everyone hate me?
• Tell me, Granny.
• I cried a lot.
• I hugged her grave; I felt like I was hugging her. I sob like no tomorrow; my eyes, body, and heart were hurting like anything.
• My eyes started getting heavy, and I was finally feeling sleepy.
• I felt someone shaking me, saying, Miss? Miss?
• But I do not want to hear anything from anyone anymore. I want to sleep with my grandmother. I want to sleep here in her embrace.
• This is my peace.
• Finally, I fell into a deep slumber.
• ******
• I got up with such a headache, and my body was aching like a bitch.
• I sat on the bed holding my head, and yesterday’s event came in front of me, and I again got teary-eyed.
• I started laughing and said, "Good morning, orphan."
• Well, this is my new reality, and you cannot run away from your reality. Can you?
• I felt something on my left hand, and I opened it and saw a pendant. It is my grandma’s.
• She used to wear this, and I love this beautiful tear-drop diamond pendant.
• She used to tell me she would give it to me one day.
• I closed my palm again and cried my heart out.
• I do not know how long I will be lying in the same position on the bed.
• Finally, I got up and saw that it was evening.
• I went to take a shower.
• After a shower, I made my coffee, sat in the same place again, and started looking outside.
• I felt some movement and looked up, where I found Anna giving me the same creepy smile.
• What do you want, Anna?" I was not in the mood, so I came straight to the point.
• "Oh, nothing, mam. I just came to check on you," she said in one go.
• She has somehow started getting on my nerves. Before I said anything, I again heard the irritating voice.
• "Aunt Anny, can you please make some coffee? My whole body is aching."
• "Why does she have to come down all the time"? I look up, and she was wearing an extremely short nightdress, and I can see lots of marks on her neck, or at least, love bites.
• Well, I might not be experienced, but that does not mean I am stupid. Romantic novels have given me enough knowledge.
• Please make double-shot black coffee for Sean and my expresso. I am sure he must be tired, too." She said this while playing with the belt of her nighty.
• "Oh, my god, what happened to you on your neck, darling?" Anna said in her fake, concerned voice.
• "Oh, come on, aunt, now do not tell me you do not know what it is," she said while making a shy face.
• And that is it; I lost it.
• I said, "Anna, thanks for your concern, but I am fine. You may leave now. And, next time, if you see your bloody face in my area, I will take out every piece of plastic that fits in your body nicely. Now get the fucking out of here, both of you." I gave them a killer look and saw them running towards the staircase.
• I again look outside. "So my dear husband has all-time love for the world, but he cannot even ask me about my grandmother.
• I do not believe he does not know about her demise. There must be big headlines in today’s news.
• So, when I was crying, he was enjoying this piece of sh*t. Well, but again, why this expectation? We have no relationship between us.
• I guess this is it.
• This is the last nail on my patient.
• I picked up my laptop, made the arrangements, and packed my stuff. As I am always home, I need no extra clothes, so I have a small bag and my laptop bag.
• I recheck all my important stuff in case I am forgetting something, but no, all done.
• I sat on the sofa and closed my eyes, so finally, that was it.
• Opening my eyes and taking the pen and paper I wrote...
• Dear Mr. Sean Hudson,
• I hope you are doing well.
• First, I would like to thank you for giving me this beautiful shelter. I would be grateful to you for my whole life for this.
• I know life has not been fair to you, and you must get married to me unnecessarily. Today, I am freeing you from all the burdens of this marriage thing.
• I am leaving for further studies. I have some dreams, and I want to live them. I hope you understand.
• I want to make my mama, grandpa, and grandmother proud.
• Here is my email address. Please send me the divorce papers here. I shall sign them gladly and send them back to you.
• I wish you all the happiness in the world.
• PS: By the way, I have bought a Christmas gift for you. I hope you like it.
• Take care.
• Regards,
• Sarah Rose
• I folded the letter, put it on the cover with his black card, and kept it near the Christmas tree with his gift.
• I looked around this place last time. It has many memories of my lonely days and nights.
• Finally, bye-bye, America. I hope I will never see you again.