Chapter 1 Prologue

• Our eyes are locked for a second, Rebel is present but not close to the surface to be noticed by others and my world shatters.
• “Stella is my Mate.” Rufus, our future Gamma, says as he turns to his girlfriend of three months.
• Why is he claiming her as his Mate? Why isn’t he holding me, like he should?
• Once again a man, that is supposed to care for me, turns his back on me. A man that is supposed to love me, that is supposed to keep me safe. Once again I am shown that I am not worthy.
• I am not worthy of love. I am not worthy to protect.
• I get so caught up in my head that I don’t realize that someone is picking me up, nor do I see where we are going. All I can see is Rufus’ eyes as he realizes that I am his fated Mate, but again I am shown that I am not worth anything.
• “Meadow.” I hear a voice next to my head, but I can’t seem to pull myself from the depths of my mind.
• I can feel that Rebel is pushing forward. I hear her voice, but it sounds as if I am miles away.
• “My Human can’t handle the rejection. You know her past and with claiming Stella as his Mate, Rufus has hurt her worse than anyone else has ever done.” Rebel, my Lycan, says.
• I can hear voices around me, but the words don’t make sense to me and I curl into a ball in the back of my own head.
• I hear Florence ask Rebel, “When did you show up?”
• “About three weeks ago, but until now we didn’t understand why.” Rebel answers her.
• I hear a lot of growls around me, sounds like they don’t like what Rebel is implying.
• Brooklyn has been with me for the past three days and slowly my friends have been able to pull me from the depths of my mind.
• I slowly get back to my routine, training and running border patrol helps me keep my anger in check and Rebel is able to take control a little more often. She doesn’t have to hide for my friends, but we are still careful with when and where we shift.
• Each of them lets me vent my anger, their Brothers let me use them as punching bags and I start to feel alive again. It also helped me to make a decision, if Stella will continue the lie Rufus started than I am gone.
• Hayden managed to get Alpha Hank to sign my papers for Renegade territory, according to Hayden he didn’t even look at the papers. Not that it surprised me, why would a man in this Pack care about a woman that no one knows.
• Going to sleep isn’t one of my favorite things anymore, I keep seeing his eyes and I keep hearing his voice. Reminding me of the fact that I am worthless and no matter how often Rebel tells me that I am not worthless, it is constantly there.
• Each day I head to the clearing near our eastern border, just a few minutes from school. It is the spot where I met my friends and it has become our training spot, I don’t want anyone to see me train.
• It took Brooklyn a few weeks before she asked me if they could bring their Brothers and it took months before I trusted them enough to let them help me with my training.
• The nine of us have a brutal training schedule, but right now I welcome it and every day I fall asleep exhausted. Not that I am asleep long, but it is enough to keep me from getting sleep deprived.
• Physically I get stronger with each passing day, mentally is a different story.
• I need to get pulled out of my own head multiple times a day and the only remedy seems to be to keep myself busy.
• I get more determined to leave Gold Moon with each day and it gets solidified every time I hear someone mention Rufus and Stella. Rebel gets more agitated each time she hears his name and she takes it out on any Rogue we can find during our border patrols.
• Rumors have been going around the Pack about the dead Rogues near our borders, but so far no one knows who is responsible for killing them and I doubt anyone would ever point their finger in my direction.
• It has been almost six weeks since Rufus chose Stella over me and the closer we get to her eighteenth birthday, the more agitated I get.
• My friends keep telling me that Stella would never take another’s fated Mate, but Rebel and I know that she is a power hungry She-wolf. She always made it clear that she wanted a High-ranking Mate and that she would stop at nothing to get what she wanted.
• It had been a huge problem during our class on the Mate-bond in school and even after our Luna told her that she couldn’t take another’s fated Mated, she kept saying that she would never settle for anything lower than a Gamma.
• “Meadow, calm down. Are you trying to kill me?” I hear Tyson ask and I realize that my mind had wandered to Rufus and Stella during training.
• I am glad that Tyson and his Lycan know me well enough or they might have tried even harder to stop me.
• I let myself fall on my back and with my eyes closed I try to calm myself down. I haven’t lost control like this in the past six weeks, but I think it is finally taking a toll on me.
• Not knowing if Stella will accept that Rufus isn’t hers. Not knowing if Rufus will finally tell the truth. Not understanding why my fated Mate would do this to me.
• There are always so many questions running through my head, I doubt anyone could make sense of it. I know I can’t and I have tried.