Chapter 74

• I’ve never had this. I’ve never had a man who dotes on me—and he does. My wish is his command. I know it’s not his normal behavior by the way the others are all shocked at how he treats me. We got back here late last night and had a hot bath together. We drank tea and I can feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into his abyss. Unfortunately, now I know what kind of a loss I really face. I’ve never had this happiness, never even dreamed of it. I didn’t know it existed, to be honest. I get up and go to the bathroom, and when I come back and open the blinds just a little, I peer out at the street below. It’s early morning and a truck is unloading across the street as the sun comes up. I watch the workers unload presumably their first job of the day. On the surface, I’m so happy and ecstatic, yet underneath my nerves are simmering in a boiling pot.
• I miss Owen.
• Owen is my priority. I have to do what’s best for him and if Cameron doesn’t accept him then I will walk away… and I will die a little inside because I know how happy we could have been. Of course, I know that I probably won’t have to walk away because Cameron will walk away from me. Pain slices through me at the thought. How could I go on knowing what it feels like to be with ‘the one’ and then not have him in my life? I close my eyes as the horror sinks in.