Chapter 17

I just couldn't get it. Why he hates me that much? What I have ever done to him? Does he love someone else? Maybe I should ask him. What does he want? If he doesn't want this marriage I won't force him. He doesn't want to marry me in the first place, but, It's my fault that I lost myself in that delusion of mine and let myself to fall in the deeper pits of abyss. If he wants to end this marriage, I am fine with it. I cannot take it anymore. I have tried to love and be loved by him, I have tried to know the reason of his hatred, the reason of pushing us away but not anymore.
His hatred is far too much to handle. I am losing myself in his hatred day by day. The burning rage of his for me is breaking me.
I was lost in my thoughts. Tonight, I will talk to Desmond. But, I love him, Ever since we have met I have fallen for him. I could not imagine my life without him. But, for him, I will do everything. The problem is that I can't talk to him. In his presence, I lost my courage to speak and ended up crying unwillingly every time. I want liberation.