Chapter 2 Self Hate

• “Look shit happens sometimes, I had to go, clean up the red stains before leaving”. He threw some bills on the bed.
• “Tim…. What are you saying to me, don't treat me like some whore!” She sobbed loudly.
• “Get over it, not like I forced you to give me your virginity”. He snarled.
• Beauty's heart was pounding, and her tears flow endlessly. He left and slammed the door after him.
• Beauty lost words, she couldn't even think straight or say anything at that moment. She didn't even cry out loud either, and had no idea if I could still breathe anymore. She loved Tim so much that it hurts a lot ..... well, you know, a first love.
• Beauty was only 16 when she got dumped by Tim, after confessing to her parents, they said she was going to heal and find someone better. Beauty tried to forget Tim, but it wasn't so easy. However, 2 years later, she met Nathan at senior high school.
• He made her believe in love again, calling her beautiful, thick and sexy. He even flaunted her in front of his friends. Something Tim said he would never do.
• Beauty was happy, very happy, finally found love, someone to love her genuinely. She was visibly glowing and happy, she went to gym and started dieting at a young age but unknown to her, she was only just a mere object of satisfaction. That particular day she had walked into her boyfriend's house, a surprise visit, only to find him in bed with some girl.
• Nathan didn't even flinch or apologize, even ran after her, he ignored her presence and led the girl on.
• Beauty left the place shattered after some few days of not calling each other, she decided to go patch things up with him.
• She didn't tell her parents about another love story that crashed but kept it to herself.
• Getting to the door of Nathan's house, she overheard and heard horrible things, Nathan spilled out to his friends about her.
• She was called fat and senseless by the same man who called her beautiful and bold. He went on and bragged on how she can't do without him because she lacked love and dying for some love and affection due to her insecurities.
• “She's sick of being alone, man, the bitch got me and can't afford losing me”. Nathan said with an air full of pride. His friends laughed out loud.
• “But how good does she skip?” One of them asked.
• “Just a heavy bag of pudding, nothing interesting, the last time I let her be a cowgirl, I almost lost my life and urge, lazy pillow princess, though she got hand and blow job skills I must confess, she can take you to heaven with her soft palms, you know what I mean”. He laughed, and his friends joined him.
• “So you are ditching her for Kira”. Another asked.
• “Well, you can't blame me, Kira is a whole upgrade more than the fat cum bag, you guys really don't expect me to be with her”. They laughed loudly.
• Beauty froze at the spot, staring at her reflection on the glass door, her tears were flowing ceaselessly and hand glued to the door handle. Hearing all he had said, she told herself not to blame him.
• “If I got to choose a girlfriend for myself, as a man …. I won't pick me”. She mumbled to herself, staring at her reflection.
• Nothing interesting in the image she saw, a bare face full of freckles, a brunette hair put up in her favorite ponytail, wearing baggy trousers and shirt to hide her body size, she cleaned her face and slowly let go of the door handle. She turned around and headed home, there's no need wasting her life with a man who sees her as just an object of satisfaction and mockery. She thought to herself.
• That was 6 years ago and presently, there's Steven, whom she had opened my heart to and shared my past with. He just unapologetically dumped her the same day he proposed.
• Beauty opened the door to her room and shut it. Leaning against the door, with her soaked clothes dripping wet.
• She removed her clothes and went into the bathroom. After minutes of crying there, she got out and dried her body. She put on her pajamas and climbed on the bed.
• Steven's words echoed in her mind.
• “If you ain't so fat, maybe the ring would have been your size”.
• “Wow! What a lady you are, Beauty, I am so sad for you”. She said to herself and kicked off the stuffed teddy on her bed and buried her face in a pillow, crying her soul out.