Chapter 170 The Monster Inside

• After the police got our statements and took away Chevalier’s body, I returned to my apartment with a temporary replacement guard until Jeffrey healed from the silver poisoning. I couldn’t stay at Andrew’s second house for another moment, not with the memory of what I had done there. Andrew volunteered to stay with me for the night, but I did not want to burden him with my turmoil, so I told him that I just wanted to sleep off the trauma.
• I hoped that I would feel better the next day, but I could not get Chevalier’s lifeless eyes out of my mind…or how his blood had tasted…or how I had enjoyed the thrill of the kill. All I could do was stay in bed and wonder how I had let myself get to that point, how I could have let myself get so savage and bloodthirsty. I thought, over and over again, the ways in which I could have prevented that outcome.
• By the end of the day, I had barely eaten or drank, just enough to stave off the hunger pangs. I just wanted to disappear, to hide from this new shame and self-hatred. I may have killed in self-defense, but that didn’t mean that I felt the murder was justified.