Chapter 19

• I can’t do that. Sure, I wanted to kill Zeke for making me feel the way he did that night, but I wouldn’t do it. It’s not his fault he doesn’t want me. It’s not his fault I was dumb enough to think he would.
• Even now, months later, the pain is so fresh. My whole body cringes from humiliation when I remember the look in his eyes. Cold and disgusted, like I was nothing but trash. Like he hated me, or worse, felt sorry for me. I’m still not sure what would be more humiliating.
• And ever since, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t know for sure he’s thinking about it. The way he sometimes looks at me—or worse, when he won’t look at me at all. I know why he won’t look at me. And it makes me want to die. If there’s one thing I could go back and change, it would be that night at the pool. I’ll never be able to live it down.