Chapter 350 In Love With Nia:>8

• Today was Thursday, and dad was due home Friday night. Between now and then I had to think of a way of telling him without ending up nailed to the garden shed with something red-hot stuck somewhere tender; I know mum had said she'd clear the way, but this was big, the biggest. Nia was his little princess, even though, if put to the torture, he'd deny it emphatically, and every scenario I tried to envisage ended with me eventually being chucked in the Thames, bound and gagged, with a size eleven shoe embedded in my arse...
• Nia was a lot less troubled. "Dad's cool, he's not, like, all hairy and chest-beating, he's a nice guy, worryingly strange, but nice. Mum says he'll see the light, so stop your vapouring!"
• Nevertheless, and even with all Nia's confidence that dad would remember he was a loving father before he actually stuffed me in the wood-chipper, I was still going to allow myself a little vapouring, with a side order of sweating terror. Mum wasn't at all weirded by this situation, and, hearing us discussing the plan for 'Operation Reveal' even poked her head round the door that morning while we were dressing to ask what we wanted for breakfast, so definitely not strange at all...