Chapter 163 My Father's Crazy Obsession:>Ep8

• Looking back from where I am now, from this exalted position of insight and wisdom, I wonder if Sarah and I sleeping together was inevitable, even if my relationship with Lucy had stayed the same as before. Over time, I'd convinced myself I only did it because of Lucy, what I'd learnt about her, and the impact that revelation had on me. It was as if some wild sexual creature had been released from inside me, making me some sort of adulterous animal. Forcing me to cheat on my wife. But I'm not so sure that's right.
• She'd been coming on to me for a long time. I had flirted with her pretty shamelessly too. We'd shared plenty of knowing looks. There had been plenty of pregnant pauses, but I had dismissed every one of them. It was all a harmless joke, of course. That's what I would tell myself. But I knew she was attractive, I knew she was interested and I knew I was interested too. I increasingly suspect that an affair was bound to happen, whatever might have taken place between me and my daughter.
• Not that I headed into work that morning deliberately intending to fuck her. It wasn't as clinical or calculating as that. I was horny though. Fuck, was I ever horny? I felt like a hormonal teenager. I needed to fuck. I had tried initiating sex with Jo several times that weekend, but she hadn't been in the mood. I should say at this point, that my love life with my wife had always been fine. That sounds like I'm damning her with faint praise. I'm not. When we first got together, we fucked a whole hell of a lot. I mean, she fucked me on our first date, as you already know. But we'd been married twenty years or so by now. We were middle aged or nearly middle aged. We had three kids. No matter how intense or exciting your sex life may be, eventually time takes its toll. And it did with us. Jo and I still had sex, perfectly lovely, perfectly acceptable sex. But I was about to discover there was so much more that could happen. So much more that was available. If you were just prepared to reach out and grab hold of it. If you were just prepared to not care about the consequences.